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Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 1 | Mo Soliman | 1 | King Lewy | 1 | 3 | 9/5 1/9 5/9 4/9 | | 2 | Stu Lamprell | 4 | Worzel Gummidge | 3 | 1 | 4/9 9/3 9/4 9/7 | | 3 | Ashley Tomlyn | 6 | El Capitano | 3 | 1 | 4/9 9/7 9/0 9/3 | | 7 | Mike Stimson | 5 | Turkish Delight | 0 | 3 | 2/9 3/9 6/9 | | 12 | BBGB | 7 | JT | 0 | 3 | 2/9 6/9 1/9 | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 7 | 11 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 0 | 5 | |
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| | | Result: | 7 | 16 | |
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| Report: | SECOND WIN ON THE SPIN - BCC BOUNCEBACK
Last week in the league that is NW Priory 1, BCC recorded their 1st league victory of the season, overcoming Tunbridge Wells. However due to work commitments, the fact that no-one else in the team is qualified to write match reports, and because I don't want to dwell on the fact that I was 2-0 up and lost 3-2, there was no match report. So lets make up for it with another master piece.
BBGB vs JT (No5)
1st on were BBGB and JT. This was a mere training session for the dynamic one who has now won 4 games on the trot. JT toyed with his opponent as the scoreline suggests. In one rally he played 5 shots off the back wall, one was a volley - however that hit him straight in the gangulies. He even had time to throw in his customary between the legs shots - one was a triple boast. BBGB tried numerous tactics to unsettle JT, (burping, changing his racquet mid rally, deliberately pretending he couldn't catch the ball - oh and of course coming on to him). JT was too good though. Will he ever lose again?
Mike vs Turkish Delight (No4)
During the summer of 69 - Turkish Delight lost only one match, a 3-2 reverse against Mike. He was quick to put that behind him as he played brilliantly against Mike this time round. The leg looked fully recovered, and his drops and volleys were back to their best. His length and width were too good for Mike, and Turkish Delight ran out a comprehensive winner.
It must be noted though that Mike had gallantly turned out for Cascades, despite his mother being rushed to hospital earlier that day. (Now that's commitment King Lewy).
2-0 to BCC and coasting.
Mo Vs King Lewy (No1)
King Lewy took one for the team on the way down to Cascades by kindly offering to sit in the middle. Despite his obvious annoyance at this, King Lewy raised his game and got back to his best against MO, coming from behind (watch it BBGB!!) to win 3-1.
Yours truly was playing at the time, so asked his assitant (Worzel Gummidge) to produce a report and have it on my desk first thing wednesday morning. Needless to say this never materialised.
However it did arrive mid afternoon!
King Lewy squared up against Mo in what turned out to be the Battle of the Nicks. Mo appears to have rediscovered his hunger for squash and started strongly dominating the T and moving King Lewy around at will. After the match King Lewy was to blame this momentary lapse on his recent diet of beer, pizza and more beer. It transpired that Papa and Mama Lewy have eloped to warmer climes and have left poor King Lewy to his own devices for the past two weeks. I digress - King Lewy started the second game spitting venom from his racket and racked up the required nine points with a flurry of nicks. Over the next two games Mo tried to stay in it but King Lewy always seemed to have one shot too many and rounded off an excellent display in a good-spirited match with a 3-1 win.
Cheers Worzell
Ashley Vs El Capitano (No3)
El Capitano was up against 'naturally fit' sicknote, who had just returned from injury. El Capitano was on fire in the first two, capitalising on Ashleys' short length and mistakes. Ashley however, dug deep towards the end of the second and managed to scrape through 9-7. This put out the fire and as usual El Capitano couldn't maintain his form for longer than two games. Shots that were winners in the first two were devoured and put away by Ashley as he ran out an easy 3-1 winner after a tough start.
Stu Vs Worzel Gummidge (No2)
Last week Dutch Prodigy (as he was known then) put in an impressive performance and won 3-0 - dedicating his win to his mum - for her birthday.
(Cheapskate - personally I would get her a present. What's she going to do with a victory from her son?)
Throughout the week leading up to Cascades, El Capitano received a constant barrage of emails from Dutch Prodigy, complaining because there was no match report. 'My loyal fans want to read about me. Why haven't you written about me? My followers are getting restless. Sort it out or I'm off to Biggin Hill where DC always does good match reports.'
So I turn up to write a match report for the important one, however he has turned up in shirt that is literally ripping at the seams and with trainers that have holes in. 'it's the fashion nowadays'. After the match he showers with the team shower gel - 'Laura buys all the shower gel at home - she must have forgotten this week.' He uses a dirty hand towel that looks like a flannel compared to him - 'Laura won't let me use clean towels from indoors as she doesn't want me to make them all dirty and smelly.'
Now I know he has a lot of fans, so I'm sure they all can dig in their pockets so that Worzel can get himself some new squash attire, shower gel and a clean full size towel. 'Next week I will be fully kitted in clean clothes, with my own shower gel'
Oh yeah he lost 3-1
I'm going to bed now- my hand is hurting
El Capitano (Shattered squash correspondent) |
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| Author: | ME |
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