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 | Fixture Details | |  | | |
Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 1 | Toby Mortimer | 1 | Mo Soliman | 3 | 0 | 9/0, 9/2, 9/3 | | 3 | Mark Lennox | 2 | Stuart Lamprell | 3 | 0 | 9/4, 9/7, 9/2 | | 4 | Gordon McManus | 3 | Ash Tomlyn | 1 | 3 | 4/9, 3/9, 9/1, 2/9 | | 5 | John Lane | 4 | Tony Lake | 3 | 0 | 9/6, 9/3, 9/7 | | 6 | Ray Bushell | 12 | Bob Pinkerton | 3 | 0 | 9/3, 9/2, 9/1 | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 13 | 3 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 5 | 0 | |
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| | | Result: | 18 | 3 | |
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| Report: | I have played in a lot of matches over a lot of years but I don't think I have ever played in one where the squash was just a sideshow to Suspect jars of Jelly,vasalene and serious threats of homosexual abuse should a player lose.
I am not as people are probably assuming at this point refering to Laney but to the opposition for the evening who go under the name of Cascades. The evening started off in my mind as a bit of a laugh but by the end of proceedings I really do believe these lads are batting off the wrong wicket!
Rent Boy v 'Ho Mo' Soliman
This one kicked off in the warm up with Big Burping Gay Bob Leaning over the balcony with a Jar of Vasalene in one hand and a huge clenched fist reminding Ho Mo what was coming if he failed to get the win,The look on Ho Mo's face was pure fear.
No matter,Rent Boy was in no mood for charity or favour and restricted Ho Mo to five points in very quick time.BBGB seemed satisfied and Ho Mo seemed resigned to his fate.
Debt Collector v Big Burping Gay Bob
After following BBGB to the changing rooms to get ready for our encounter, I felt a touch nervous at what I might see. In reality I was confronted with BBGB,shorts round his ankles and the largest jar of Jelly being brought out of his bag. That was enough for me so I did my warm up on court instead.
This was another fairly quick game with BBGB gasping for a crash team to be called halfway through the 3rd as he was convinced death was just seconds away.
3-0 to DC and needles to say I didn't play a drop shot all night!
Mighty Mac v 'Sicknote' Ash
Didn't see any of this one as I was looking out for my own wellbeing on the other court but from what I am told Mighty Mac never realy got up for this one which is not a good idea against Sicknote as on the occasions when he cannot find a reason to cry off he will always give 100%.
Result, a good 3-1 win for Sicknote and a reprieve from the attentions of BBGB on the way home.
A Good Few Beers v 'Fatboy' Stuart
Both these lads started slowly but Fatboy making too many errors from the back of the court gifted the first game to AGFB 9-4.Fatboy then reversed the situation in the second taking a healthy lead before AGFB brought some discipline back into his game with good line and length bringing the scores level at 7-7. A dodgy call from the marker (Me) then gave AGFB game ball which he took off a Fatboy error.
The 3rd was over in pretty quick time with order restored to AGFB's game and a comfortable 3-0 win is notched up for the Hill.
Laney v 'Steptoe' Tony
After last weeks hammering of Laneys shorts it was a rather subdued attire revealed this week,navy blue with bright orange flowers!
Sorry Laney I didn't see much of this one either but what I did see showed him hitting a good mix of powerful drives,tight boasts and one serve which Andy Roddick would have been proud of.A clean ace at nothing less than 145mph by my estimations which left Steptoe looking rather dazed.
Amusing end to this one with Laney making a very good get from a Steptoe drop. Rent Boy on marking duties then asks Steptoe if he's happy with that pick up, The answer from Steptoe being 'Why the bloody hell would I be happy with that!' at which point the two lads shook hands and called it a day.
So with the squash bit out of the way the Cascades lads then moved on to their main performance in the bar which left me and the other Hill lads in fits. Pictures painted of the five of them travelling back down the M2 in Ho Mo's Fiat Uno looking for a quiet lay bye left me in a heap.
Needless to Say poor old Kim behind the bar looking a million dollars didn't get a look in!
Just when we thought it was all over with the opposition departed,back they come line astern headed by Fatboy in full police uniform, truncheon in hand performing YMCA in true Village People style,FANTASTIC!
(Pictures hopefully will be on the forum later today)
Well done lads, as always a really good night.Crap squash but who cares. |
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| Author: | Debt Collector |
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