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 | Fixture Details | |  | | |
Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 1 | George Fray | 6 | Mike Harrison | 3 | 2 | 8/10, 5/9, 9/4, 9/0, 9/4 | | 3 | Terry Kiggs | 7 | Simon Grey | 1 | 3 | 7/9, 7/9, 9/8, 3/9 | | 5 | Sid Snital | 8 | Paul James | 0 | 3 | 2/9, 4/9, 0/9 | | 7 | Andy Lewin | 9 | Toby Carr | 3 | 2 | 10/8, 5/9, 9/3, 3/9, 10/9 | | 6 | Bob Collison | 13 | Dan Lark | 1 | 3 | 2/9, 9/3, 2/9, 1/9 | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 8 | 13 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 0 | 5 | |
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| | | Result: | 8 | 18 | |
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| Report: | Amida continued their stuttering start to the season, which has seen them develop almost as many excuses in the process as their old adversaries ‘Les Kuntos’ (who shall officially remain nameless for legal reasons!)
First on was Toby who clearly never wishes to play for the team again. Just to demonstrate that he could win but didn’t want to (presumably in order that he is never selected again) he contrived to lose 3-2 having led 8-1 in the fifth game. It was truly awful!
Toby claims he was genuinely trying and was totally devastated by his extraordinary loss of form. Amazed but glad to hear that Toby did actually care, the rest of the Amida team were delighted to hear that Andy had added further insult to injury by calling Toby by the wrong name all evening. ‘Cheers for the game Tone’ was the shout as a jubilant Andy left the trendy club bar late in the evening, followed by a juvenile cackle of laughter from the Away team.
The next match on court was George v Mike and what a fine sporting encounter it proved to be. It was a game of two halves, well actually, more a tale of the two balls if the truth be known. Mike went in to a two and a half game lead, but then in a tactical masterstroke reminiscent of the great Freddie Flintoff (whilst behaving like John McEnroe on his ‘best’ behaviour), George opted for the new ball. He didn’t look back in winning the next 3 games and securing a 3-2 win.
Mike was unavailable for official comment afterwards but was keen to stress he wasn’t bitter about the defeat whatsoever. George meanwhile was left praying that his beloved West Ham can only drawn inspiration from his heroic performance and end their current losing streak. Having had a difficult start to the season themselves, it looked very much like Fitness First would end their own losing streak with the match scoreline standing at 2-0 in their favour.
With the Amida back’s against the wall, the ‘Disco Cowboy’ was keen to enter the fray (lets face it, we’ve all got our suspicions). Never before, apart from when he failed to show up in the final and most important match of the Summer season, had Amida needed the Cowboy to put in an assured, commanding performance to get the Away team back in the match.
However, the Amida are well aware of the Cowboy’s obvious squash limitations and as such were simply hoping that he was playing an opponent who hadn’t played for 14 years and whose own fitness levels were comparable to the missing Alex Martin’s. And as luck would have it (because lets face it, he was never going to put in an assured, commanding performance) he was up against Sid, the Fitness First no. 3 (Yes No.3, is there a problem? He was presumably nominated in that position because of the ‘experience’ he brings to the court).
The Cowboy registered a comprehensive 3-0 victory, the only minor hiccup coming in the second game when the Cowboy hit the serve out and therefore had to wake Sid from his coma in order that he could serve himself to get the play re-started. 2-1 to Fitness First at this point.
Next on court was Simon v Terry, with the Amida team praying for an improbable victory to tie the scores. The great Jahangir Khan didn’t lose a match for 5 and a half years, Simon was well on the way to establishing a similar-ish record all of his own (if you get my drift).
However, Simon amazed his band of supporters by two acts of totally uncharacteristic behaviour. Firstly he won 3-1 and played extremely well in the process. Secondly, he actually changed his mind when the marker made a decision he disagreed with. To be fair to Simon, the marker was actually ruling in his favour, despite both players and the entirely gallery thinking the point should have been awarded to Terry. But Simon, its good to know you do respect authority (when it suits you) – the beleaguered Tony ‘Tone’ Carr could only watch on and admire Simon’s canny display of gamesmanship, whilst lamenting his own, ‘Isn’t it a bit unsociable asking for a stoke when he’s hit it through his legs?’ approach to squash. Yes Tone, you’re right, a true sportsman tries to play it off the door handle and via the service box just in order to keep the rally going (and what a great attempt to do so that was on your 27th match ball).
The match score now stood at 2-2 and it was incredibly exciting (NOT). The match result would be determined by the last match on court, the legendary Dan ‘Kung Fu’ Lark against Bob Collison. Given a recent hot streak of form, Dan decided that he would give himself a further challenge by conditioning his play such that he would hit everything above the cut line, behind the service line and above 228 mph.
Despite the restrictions, Dan worked Bob around the court with his usual guile and finesse. As ever, he threw in a couple of crowd-pleasers, the highlight being one particular boast that was played to a perfect length at the back of the court. The Disco Cowboy (Boast master) would have been immensely proud of Dan, if only he hadn’t abandoned his supporting duties by buggering off early to meet goodness knows who.
Dan’s very own brand of squash continued to flourish, albeit curiously one observer was heard to comment (I think his name was Jahangir from memory) that ‘Dan was simply hitting everything as hard as he could, with no control and running around like a headless chicken’ – personally I think people making unqualified opinions should keep their opinions to themselves.
Ignoring all the cynicism and media circus (including disgruntled ex-WAGS) that follows Dan wherever he goes, he duly wrapped up a four game victory, and with it the match 3-2 to Amida, 18 points to 7. A much-needed win, albeit one made somewhat more difficult than it should have been (Mike, Tone please note). Nevertheless, a great comeback guys, well done!!
Next up are Knole Park in the Cup. Amida are banking on a good cup run to secure a place in Europe next season (Prague, Krackow or similar would suit), and hope that next week sees a return to form, and hopefully a victory that kick-starts their season………………..
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| Author: | Amida |
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