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Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 2 | Chris Barker | 1 | Chris Sayer | 2 | 3 | 9/5 6/9 9/4 8/10 3/9 | | 5 | Andy Davies | 4 | Tom Candy | 3 | 2 | 9/10 3/9 9/5 9/1 9/7 | | 9 | John Bossley | 7 | Mark Fleming | 0 | 3 | 6/9 0/9 5/9 | | 10 | Steve Spencer | 8 | Chris Morgan | 3 | 2 | 9/7 5/9 8/10 9/7 9/4 | | 11 | Mick Byrne | 9 | Jolly John (unretired) | 0 | 3 | 2/9 1/9 5/9 | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 8 | 13 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 0 | 5 | |
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| | | Result: | 8 | 18 | |
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| Report: | One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.
"And, has thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.
How else to mark JJ's triumphal return from exile to carry the day for KP?
Roadworks had closed one end of Doom Lane; water-filled bomb craters that would have done the battle of the Somme proud protected the approach and entrance to the courts. Jolly John held his cancelled pension book nervously in one hand as he approached the graveyard of his worst nightmares. The winter nip chilled his already sparsely fleshed bones.
The ghostly figure of Colin Jones, the phantom coldballer of old Dunstan Town, seemed to peer at the Knole bravehearts out of the gloom. Only the absence of clouds or humidity spared the adjective ‘driech’ from capturing the sense of foreboding in the air.
The surprisingly unbarred and unlocked door slid silently open – and, joy! A blast of lukewarm air wafted over the visitors from within. Rushing upstairs to greet his favourite showers, JJ was pleased to find that both trickles were lukewarm too!
After that, the first four matches were unimportant. JJ knew that it would all come down to him in the end. Kismet!
‘Was injured’ secret Chis v getting fitter ‘Finger’ Chis
Missing their regular No. 1, ODs had brought in a youthful looking Chris Barker – sporting a Seventies ‘Micky Dolenz’ haircut he had donned for the Monkies revival party afterwards. KP responded by press-ganging ‘injured’ Chris Sayer, who had tried to catch a broken glass the weekend before and was sporting a loosely fitting foam finger covering the bare bone and flailed flesh (luckily on his left hand). Chris B moved agilely around the court while Chris S experimented with different styles of follow through and pace. Mobile Micky won the first 9/5. Serious Sayer, having adjusted his fickle finger foam, took the second 9/6. Fewer errors saw Barker back up with a 9/4 third. Then a ding-dong and fluctuating fourth – 10/8 to Sayer - and a shift in momentum. The Finger closed out the fifth comfortably 9/3 to set the tone for a tight evening.
We saw in this match several examples of a shot, which has become a Sayer trademark. Diving full length in the corner (head down, with a one arm hand press or sliding if possible), so your opponent thinks the only possible shots are a drop or a weak boast. Then, off the tip of the racket, drive the ball back past your own head – just before you crash into the wall. The non-striker, following up for the weak drop or boast to play his own kill behind a prone opponent is left completely flummoxed as the ball dribbles to the back of the court. World class!
Chris’s cut hand had to be protected from moisture, so the lack of a sweaty atmosphere or power-shower helped his recuperation.
Steve v Chris (3)
Steve was one of several players that Knole had met 8 years before in another world. He had kept his old track suit and racket for the occasion and Chris responded by sympathetically ceding the first game. Finding his length, however, Chris fought back to take a 2-1 lead and looked to have worn down his opponent. Captain Steve dug deeper, perhaps realising that this was make or break time for the ODs. He nicked the 4th 9/7 and Chris lost line and length in the fifth to allow Steve to level the tie 1-1. For the stats buffs, 3-2 to Steve was an exact replica of the score when they last met in March 1997.
John v Mark
The second of the Howdon exiles (Class of 1997/8), John had no answer to the cold court cuts of Mark (no tin needed this week). Mark would have been under 40 when Knole last met John and his Howdon mates. So, no grown up bad memories to trouble him.
Andy v Tom
Tom had been elevated to 2nd string for the night (perhaps in recognition of his 5 game losing streak). He showed no sign of altitude sickness, however, as he raced to a 2-0 and 5/1 lead. Then lost. ‘nuff said. 2-2.
Mick v the comeback king JJ
Having spent most of the week trying to press his terrified troops into pitching up (PJ – groin; Jerry – work; Chris S-B – wife; Gary – Arsenal again), JJ’s 15 minutes of fame had arrived. Word came down early in the match that Tom was 2-1 up but not to be relied upon. But JJ, calling up memories of his 3-1 win over Mick in December 1997, rolled back the years and cruised through as if to the manor born. Going one better, and even easing up a little in the third against a gracious opponent, JJ hauled his team clear of the relegation zone.
Oh, and Arsenal won 3-1, Gary. Were you there?
The immediately modest, magnanimous and munificent JJ gave his players next week off (apart from double training sessions). Alternatively, they are free to watch any of the better cup games (courtesy of Ivor the Engine – you Leica camera?)
Good food, beer and atmosphere courtesy of Park Langley and time to check up on the results of some of their own crucial Courtspy matches. Further good news for Jolly John as all his naps came up trumps (so far).
In the words of Winston Churchill, ‘apologies for the long report; I didn’t have time to write a short one’.
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| Author: | JJ |
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