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Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 1 | George Fray | 1 | Chris Sayer | 3 | 1 | 6/9 10/8 9/3 10/8 | | 4 | Terry Higgs | 2 | Tom Candy | 2 | 3 | 7/9 3/9 9/3 9/0 9/10 | | 5 | Andy Lewin | 3 | Jerry Staffurth | 0 | 3 | 1/9 7/9 3/9 | | 6 | Syd Spittle | 6 | Mark Fleming | 0 | 3 | 4/9 1/9 2/9 | | 9 | Alan Marsh | 7 | Chris Morgan | 3 | 2 | 9/1 9/4 5/9 6/9 9/4 | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 8 | 12 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 0 | 5 | |
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| | | Result: | 8 | 17 | |
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| Report: | Fighting fails to break out (see the Forum)!
Trophy stays put (see the Forum)!
Food shortage and match fixing in Chatham (see report below)!
An early season ‘must win’ match for Knole Park. Knowing how important it is to get out of the basement before the holiday season, JJ picked his strongest available players – only having to drop himself from the ‘super 6’.
A delayed start – Mark offered to drive, with an empty petrol tank and a faulty petrol cap. Half an hour delay while he tried pushing all the wrong buttons.
Mark had no such trouble with Syd himself on court. In spite of a nasty bruise on his racket hand caused by ‘going for the same ball as the dog’, Mark’s silky skills were in great nick and Syd succumbed in three.
Chris Sayer, still feeling his way back to form from a near fatal attack of golfer’s elbow, managed to confuse a game out of the talented George Fray. Both players were troubled by the glare of newly painted walls and the slippery dust from the newly sanded floor. To counter this, both employed a kind of half-volley topspin forehand drop – useless, but effective against an equally confused opponent. George fought back to take a close second and a comfortable third. Then Chris raced to an 8-2 lead in the fourth – before handing it back. Match scores level at 1-1.
Jerry Staffurth must have had a relaxed time against a vociferous Andy Lewin. The volume of Andy’s anguished verbal self-flagellation increased as each game passed. Even closing the door between the two balconies didn’t help, as Jerry cruised through in 3.
Syd being unavailable to mark all of the other games, due to having to buy dinner and beer for a dry bar, JJ was forced to step in to the hostile arena of Tom & Terry. Tom teased Terry with his range and reach to take the first two. Then Terry had a word with himself and the returned Syd. ‘Two long and one short’, said Syd. It seemed to work as Terry breezed the next 2. The fifth was always going to be difficult for all three protagonists. Terry tested the marker with a few double bounces and marginal serves. Tom tried his ‘you can not be serious’ argument. When that didn’t work, both players started to arm wrestle instead.
It was nip and tuck until 8-8 in the fifth and all of the rules that had not been used thus far were brought into play, as both players strove to nick the rubber by fair means of foul. Naturally, the most controversial and crucial decisions came on the match balls. The result is in the book; Terry will probably never forgive or forget the ‘bad marking’ – he was last seen ‘fulminating’ in the shower. Syd will ruminate – but claims that his website password doesn’t work, so is unlikely to be able to affect the record.
Chris Morgan took on the dead rubber opponent – Alan Marsh – and soon found himself up against a runner who did not want to play the drive-drive game favoured by Chris. On the slippery court, Alan’s secret weapon was handy – he stamped on the floor between rallies – and took the first two games easily. A fightback by Chris levelled the score until Alan found his feet again and Chris settled for the two team points. A pity, as the loss highlighted the crucial nature of the Tom & Terry controversy.
Never mind. Fitness catering to look forward to. But, somehow, Syd was so busy securing the last lamb chops for himself, that he miscounted the scampi. Poor Chris Morgan was left with only soggy chips and a bit of red cabbage. Poor show, Fitness!
After letting down the eaters and drinkers, Syd was in the mood for confession. Challenged about the Priory Div 4 shield from 200? on the wall behind the bar, Syd owned up – but then pointed out that it was superglued to the wall! No joy for the Receiver of Wreck there. He did help with the other current Priory mystery, though. Recalling the glory days of his youth, Syd remembered when his entire team (Harveys) had been banned from playing – Messrs Creed, Spittle, Milford and Briggs, plus one other unknown, having distinguished themselves in frequent inter-club brawls, were invited to cease and desist. [It is not clear whether the ban applied to the team or the individuals – nor whether the players were ever reinstated. Perhaps P.C. could investigate whether Knole were playing against an ‘ineligible’?]
Next week, KP entertain Freds – and the player shortage means that Jonah JJ will have to play. KP have not won a match with their Captain in the side this season. Courtspyers please note.
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| Author: | JJ |
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