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 | Fixture Details | |  | | |
Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 4 | Gordon McManus | 2 | Stuart Lamprell | 3 | 1 | 9/3, 9/6, 5/9, 9/3 | | 6 | Mark Lennox | 4 | Tony Lake | 3 | 0 | 9/7, 9/2, 9/0 | | 8 | Ray Bushell | 12 | Mike Stimpson | 3 | 0 | 9/4, 9/5, 9/2 | | 7 | John Lane | 11 | Bob Pinkerton | 3 | 0 | 9/6, 9/0, 9/2 | | 12 | Simon Wanford | | | 3 | 0 | Walk-over | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 15 | 1 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 5 | 0 | |
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| | | Result: | 20 | 1 | |
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| Report: | Sitting pretty at the top of the tree, Biggin Hill sensed this could be a night to extract a high score from bottom of the league Cascades. Rather than take their points, it was more about pulling away from 2nd place rivals Cannons 1 who were just 15 points behind Hill’s tally of 142. Not forgetting Park Langley (with a game in hand) who could also creep within just 8 points. Having said that, if Bexley had a good win, they’d be right up there too! My god, you let your guard down and these snakes will bite!!!
On with the match..
Biggin Hill’s Ray (The Debt Collector) Bushell took to the court with Dan Akroyd lookie likie, Mike Stimpson. One would say age was always going to prevail over beauty in this tie as the Debt Collector called upon his many years of experience to brush aside Akroyd in three straight forward games. It’s fair to say The Collector is playing some pretty good squash right now - improving his batting average from the lowly 14.8% (when he joined Biggin Hill) to a whopping 90%!!
On the other side of the wall, Team Capitano and day to day nice chap Mark Lennox, was tearing around the court trying to keep quick starter Tony Lake at bay. The points sat at 3-0 in the first game signalling a much needed kick start by Lennox who’d previously been warming up on the other court with one of the Priory ladies – let’s keep this clean please! Any way, Lennox eventually pulled the first game off 9-7, and quickly followed up with a 9/2, and a 9/0. The scores didn’t flatter worthy opponent Lake who had strong shots and some serious pace around the court.
Next up was Hill’s Big John Lane (Laney to his mates) v an even bigger bloke call Bob. Laney hadn’t even entered the court before Big Bob had unleashed no less that 6 gale force burps. There was only one question asked by the marker, “I don’t suppose you’re Big Burping Bob”? The reply was simply, “No, I’m Big Burping Gay Bob”! Priceless!!!! The squash was fast and furious with Laney crashing around the court like he perhaps used to some ten years ago. Big Burping Gay Bob was giving as good as he was getting (ooh err missus), by adopting a never say die approach and asking for every conceivable time saving let – and also letting out sporadic burps. Ultimately, Laney proved too big and strong for Bob who eventually went down 3-0. Bob consoled himself by getting stuck in to a few Kroney 1664’s.
Last up were the No.1’s and Hills top man Gordon McManus against Cascades’ Stuart Lamprell. McManus and Lamprell have played on many occasions – usually with McManus coming out on top. This match was no different apart from the one game (and Cascades’ solitary point of the evening) Lamprell stole in the third. McManus' superior volleying and deft touches at the front of the court proved too strong for Lamprell who eventually went down 3-1.
Another pint for Burping Bob.
Unfortunately for Hill’s rapidly improving dynamo Simon (I want to get my stats up) Wanford, his opponent didn’t show up – shame on you number 5 whoever you are!!! Wanford instead took on John Lane who was evidently in the mood for more action. Whilst these two battled it out against one another, you could here the slurps and burps from the bar as Big Gay Bob attacked another Kroney (and i’m not talking about Gordon McManus). Wanford soon disposed of Big Laney in 4 games to make it a very satisfying evening. Perhaps next week Laney can have a bit of ‘reflection’ time as he belts down the slopes on his skiing holiday.
One more pint for the big fella.
All in all a good match and good company. I have to say credit to Cascades sticking out the rest of the season when they could have folded amidst the amount of players they’ve lost in such a short space of time. The league needs to be added to not reduced!!
At least they make the most of the bar tabs - rumour had it 11 pints for Bob on their last outing to T Wells!!! – That’s got to be a record!
One for the road for Bob..
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| Author: | Mark Lennox |
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