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| Report: | Back from my death bed last week after the inevitable man flu and with the annual ritual of turkey abuse upon us I feel a cheeky and indeed rare match report is called for.
More about abuse and the seedy antics of Simmo later !
So after much date searching this fixture finally got played after cancellation a few weeks back.
Nilen (Neil to his mates) v Matt
Both late replacements for the losers who dropped out from the regular team players.
Matt started strongly but Neil eventually got moving and Matts 7 foot frame (tall) finally started to buckle. Neil fairly comfortable in 3.
Like a wilting plant in the sun, Matt started to perk back up after a sufficient quantity of Lager was put back into the system. You have to keep the roots watered and its a long way down to Matts !
Cyborg v Anal Simmo
Truly the ultimate dual of the hench robots.
Transformers doesn't come close .
More fat on a butchers hook than these two but more muscles in one arm than the whole of Ben Grinnel !
Much crashing and banging and a mighty lot of effort but Cyborg was obviously a more advanced model and did the business in 3.
Duncan Goodhew v Captain Buttocks
Thinking about it,with Simmo in your team I think you need to change name John !
You couldn't see this result coming after Buttocks steamed through the first game 9 zip in about 30 seconds.
Dunc however finally got his stroke going and nicked a very tight second which turned out to be the pivitol (spelling?) moment.
A tight 4th but Dunc held on to touch home first.
Massive *its Morty v Neil
Anyone who watched Amy in I'm a Celeb last week and enjoyed what you saw, well that is nothing compared to top heavy Morty. Come and see for yourself it really is a very impressive sight !
That said, Morty put on a total master class of how to dominate the T and make your opponent go to all 4 corners of the court on a regular basis.
That said, Neil was a willing participant and it made for an entertaining match.
Debt Collector v The not angry Paul.
With loud Mcleod smashing in faces and breaking bones in another part of the UK (hopefully in one of those stupid northern towns like Manchester,Liverpool or Birmingham) it was left to the more docile Paul to have a really good game with DC that just for a change went to five.
DC scrapped home for the first time this season and the bar beckoned.
It goes without saying there was a lot of banter and even more lager going down which is how it should be with the TW lads but as the food arrived I latched onto to a really worrying conversation being chaired by Simmo to Buttocks and Big *its who were avid listeners and learners of the art of 'rear facing pleasures'. It wouldn't be right to go into further details in this report but wherever your imagination takes you, it was worse!!!
Lastly, it goes without saying that everyone had a really good night and to be honest the scoreline really didn't matter.
What was important is after the first cancellation, both teams really wanted to play.
We could easily have claimed the points and not bothered with last night but surely the whole point is playing squash and having a few beers.
Shame not all teams in this league feel the same way.
Happy Christmas and look forward to doing it all again in the new year. |
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| Author: | Debt Collector |
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