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 | Fixture Details | |  | | |
Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 3a | T Mortimor | 2 | Handsome James | 3 | 0 | 9/6 9/1 9/0 | | 3 | G McManus | 4 | JT | 3 | 1 | 9/3 7/9 10/9 9/0 | | 9 | S Wanford | 3 | Dutch Prodigy | 0 | 3 | 7/9 7/9 4/9 | | 8 | S Clarke | 5 | EL Twat | 3 | 0 | 9/3 9/3 9/5 | | 10 | S Melbourne | | Letdown Lewy | 3 | 0 | W/O W/O W/O | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 12 | 4 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 5 | 0 | |
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| | | Result: | 17 | 4 | |
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| Report: | BCC Letdown In Title Decider
BCC were given the customary call last wednesday ahead of this match that Biggin Hill would be very weak, what with all the star players on holiday, and Gordon decapitated with a bad back.
El Capitano and his band of merry men sensed a great opportunity to claw back the 25pt deficit, and throw the title race wide open.
At 6pm El Capitano was informed by Letdown Lewy that he was still stuck at work and was going to struggle to make it to the match, however he was persuaded to get a cab as soon as he got home, as BCC were heavily reliant on him turning up.
At 7.30pm Letdown Lewy promised El Capitano that he was on his way, so El Capitano set about giving his team the best chance of victory.
Toby Vs Handsome James (No 1)
Handsome James was promoted to number 1 in the off chance that Letdown Lewy would go back on his word. However he faced a daunting match against Toby who had just returned from a lengthy break, and looks to be finding his form rather quickly.
El Capitano was marking at the time so didn't see this match. Judging by the first game it was close, but after that Toby ran away with it and recorded a comprehensive win. Afterwards Handsome James looked drained and shattered. However he still had time to reprimand El Capitano for not believing that he could win.
One more game for Handsome James before he returns to university, lets hope he goes out with a bang.
Simon Vs Dutch Prodigy (No 3)
Dutch Prodigy was kept at 3, but was up against stand in skipper, Whippet Wanford. Dutch Prodigy moved Whippet Wanford around at will, but Whippet Wanford always managed to stay in the rallies. However, Dutch Prodigy had one too many shots in the first game and won 9-7.
The 2nd game followed a similar pattern, with Whippet Wanford rattling Dutch Prodigy with his retrieving, again though Dutch Prodigy had too much guile and went 2-0 up.
In the 3rd Whippet Wanford looked spent, and Dutch Prodigy ran out a 3-0 winner.
In his 2nd season for BCC, Dutch Prodigy has been the most consistent/reliable player, and that's despite finding a new job/buying a new house and getting married. What a special guy!!
(Ah! Ah! Marian stop crushing my arm!!)
The match was set up at 1-1, but then BCCs' season collapsed around them.
Letdown Lewy had caught a mystery illness on the way home from work, he was going to be unable to help out his comrades. Despite much pleading, Letdown Lewy wouldn't back down.
JT struggling for form would have to be promoted to 2, whilst El Capitano would have to move to 4, both would need resounding wins to keep the title race alive.
SilverBack Vs El Twat (No 4)
To moan about ones' problems would diminish the clinical performance of the SilverBack. For all EL Twats throwing of racquets, and loss of temper, Silverback was too good. El Twat couldn't hit a barn door, whilst Silverback couldn't miss.
At the end of the 3-0 drubbing El Twat sat in the corner, contemplating his fitness, his love/hate of squash and whether or not life was worth it.
SilverBack on the other hand smiled with pride as he gave his club the victory that all but secured the title.
Gordon Vs JT (No 2)
Gordon had recovered from his back injury, and was pleased to hear that Letdown Lewy would be letting down his teammates.
JT, promoted to 2, did himself justice in a great performance. EL Twat was still crying in the corner at the time, but according to Handsome James, JT played the best he's ever played. He shared the first two with Gordon, before a titanic battle in the 3rd, which Gordon just pipped 10-9. This was the catalyst for the last game, which Gordon reeled off 9-0.
Biggin Hill won 4-1, and got the points they needed to clinch the title. This was BCC biggest defeat of the season, and that after anticipating winning 5-0.
'Squash is A Funny Old Game'
As usual the meal afterwards was top quality, loads of lasagne, and then Chocalte Eclairs to follow. The only plus side of Letdown Lewy letting BCC down was that there were more Eclairs to go round for everyone.
El Twat (Ex Capitano, Twat)
P.S PB, 'Too May Beers' or whatever your name is, thanks for the lovely txt message, enquiring about your victory. However, in future I would prefer it if your Torso didn't accompany the text messsge, if it was your girlfriends!!!, well that's a different matter. |
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| Author: | El Twat |
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