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Home | Return to Division Fixtures
| Nom | Home Player | Nom | Away Player | Result | Games |
| 1 | Darren Heathfield | 1 | Chris Sayer | 2 | 3 | 10/9 9/3 2/9 5/9 6/9 | | 3 | Mike Breen | 2 | 'PJ' Rutherford | 0 | 3 | 7/9 9/10 3/9 | | 4 | Bob Cowan | 3 | Jerry Staffurth | 3 | 0 | 9/6 9/5 9/4 | | 5 | Andy McLean | 4 | Gary Mitchell | 3 | 0 | 9/4 9/4 10/8 | | 7 | Paul Weymont | 7 | Chris Morgan | 0 | 3 | 1/9 2/9 6/9 | | | | | | | | | | | Games: | 8 | 9 | |
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| | | Bonus: | 0 | 5 | |
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| | | Result: | 8 | 14 | |
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| Report: | Familiar territory for Knole at Dartford, but not familiar enough for their no.1 Chris Sayer, who couldn’t remember how to get there. Visions of a captains’ agreement to let the result fly without a no.1. Oh, no, the AGM changed the rule! Fingernails would be bitten until 9.00, when the Dartford one-way system yielded up its tired victim.
Paul Weymont has been around for years, apparently. Not long enough to know that Knole’s Chris Morgan is not to be trifled with. Paul runs around a lot and hits the ball cleanly – meat and drink to the classically trained Morgan who drove and dropped his way to 3-0.
Gary Mitchell – in mourning for his beloved Arsenal and suffering from a surfeit of cuisine de Paris – was dismayed to find that no cannon fodder had been laid on for his comeback. Andy McLean, previously ‘the best no. 5 in Division 3 Winter’, had emerged from his winter hibernation to become probably the best left-handed no. 4 in Dartford. Gary never got to grips with carrying an extra stone of fois gras around against a youthful and rampant Andy. 3-0 to Acacia and 1-1 the match.
Acacia have shuffled their order since the winter and this put another two lefties together in Bob Cowan and Jerry Staffurth. At 0-6 down in the first, Bob’s touch came back and he did not let Jerry have any control, running off 3 games with little discomfort.
Another shuffle found ‘the best no. 4 in Div. 3’ Mike Breen now playing in his true position at 2 against the wily ‘PJ’, who himself is enjoying his return to his natural home in Div. 2. ‘PJ’ was comfortable enough by the third game to employ several of his shots, including a perilous self-nutmeg through his own legs. Mike was so surprised that he could not move to take the easy ‘stroke’ on offer and ‘PJ’ cruised through 3-0 to level the match 2-2.
At 9.00, Chris Sayer emerged onto the balcony in his suit and the appeal was put back in the lawyer’s briefcase. Chris seemed to be still at the office as the close first game see-sawed. He fought back from 2-8 to 8-8 and some crucial decisions naturally followed. At the start of the game, there had only been one spectator (sent to mark). By the time Darren took the game 10-9 the balcony was full of armchair critics ready to crucify the ‘volunteer’ marker. A fuming Sayer let the second game slip away as he tried to force the steam back into his ears. Luckily for the spectators, he knuckled down. Some forceful pressure play put him back in the match. The Heathfield expletive count started to rise dramatically – marker turning several deaf ears to it, having probably heard some of it before. Luckily most of the Knole veterans would not know what a ‘f*****g n*b’ is. The squash was nevertheless of a fine quality – the players traded triple-boast lobs from the same school for a bit of variety - and Chris was no doubt as relieved as he was surprised to emerge victorious after a gruelling test.
Another 3-2 result between these closely matched rivals. It seems as though it has been ever thus.
Knole are glad to have some more points in the bag before the next three barren weeks. Their numbers 1,3 and 5 are taking time off – perhaps to maintain their records, although Chris Sayer might deny that he is ducking the clash with PL superstar D Harris (possibly the most surprising Div. 2 player without a life). Perhaps PL, PW and BX will bring their reserves to ease Knole into their fold?
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| Author: | JC supersub |
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